In an effort to prevent bleeding to death, I'm ingesting a horrific hormonal concoction known as YAZ. Three days into this biological experiment-gone-wrong, I woke up to not one, but TWO blazing, glaring pimples the size of Philadelphia!
It's a crime against nature that a woman my age is not only subjected to inheriting her mother's wrinkles but now apparently the kids' pimples as well! It is my well-founded belief that the name YAZ must be an acronym for You're A Zitface!! I do not relish this midlife reincarnation of puberty! This cruel bio-terrorism must be stopped!
Where's that Jessica Simpson when you need her? She should waltz over here with a 500 gallon drum of that ProActive stuff and rescue me before I am consumed by the giant zit that ate Cincinnatti! To make matters worse, once I get a zit, I can't seem to leave it alone! So now I'm reprising Al Pacino's role in Scarface! I feel like that guy on the Austin Powers movie that had the moles! Molee, Molee, Molee!
Ladies, isn't it just a whole lotta fun being a girl?
2 comments:
oh my girl I am laughing so so so hard tears are pouring down my face, you are so funny I love you already cant wait to meet you. And let me know about this yaz I am shoping around but so far the zits are not my cup of tea.
OK so I told you in my email I would catch up on your Blog this weekend. As I hit send I hear Rachy busting a gut laughing in her office so hard I had to go see what was wrong. She had me read this post on her laptop and we were both in stitches so I rebooted and had to comment. You have a gift there is no other word for it. Thanks for making our day!!
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