There's ADD/ADHD, PTSD, STD,OCD, ED, and now there's EPD. Tyler has recently coined this new diagnosis for a disorder he claims I have-Excessive Pothole Disorder.
According to Tyler, whenever there's a pothole in the road, I go out of my way to hit it! He says that when it looks like I might possibly miss a pothole that I subconsciously make a course correction so that I do, in fact, hit it. From my perspective, I do exactly the opposite. I do everything within my power to avoid potholes. Why would I intentionally hit one? It's not good for your alignment. It's not good for the tires. It makes my boobs jiggle and sag more. I could possibly spill my latte! Why, oh why, would I do such a thing? Tyler says I'm in denial. He says I have some sort of subconscious need for the drama of it all. Drama because he always yells when I hit one. And then he mocks me and my driving skills. And threatens to make me go on some kind of pills. Yeah, like that's enjoyable!He says it's like some sort of magnetic force, like a tractor beam or something, that pulls me irresistibly towards the pothole. Maybe even some sort of mystical spiritual thing: be one with the pothole! No pothole left behind! Celebrate the pothole! OK-enough.
My theory is that possibly I have some sort of visual spacial impairment. It always looks to me like I'm going to miss it, I'm intentionally trying to miss it, it feels like I'm missing it...and then whomp! So maybe it's a form of dyslexia. Only with potholes. There's another valid point I would like to make regarding this alleged condition that I supposedly have.
Have any of you out there seen the roads in Michigan?
My point exactly! I rest my case...
3 comments:
Lana, you donnot have EPD. It is not your fault. Why do we have so many potholes in the first place ? Because all of the men working or who are supposed to be working on fixing these potholes are mowing the lawn instead. Do you ever see a woman on these work crews ? We would have had those potholes fixed the next day. No, the disorder is with men. It is IDIT,(not idiot, for those of you who cannot spell ) I'll do it tomorrow ! and tomorrow never comes.
Good point, Rach! I can always count on you-the voice of reason!
Hugs,
Lana
You are the best you make me laugh so hard I might just pee my pants I will have to wear depends when i meet you so there are ne accidents. thanks for the smile!
Post a Comment