Dirty Jobs-Home Edition

 

Do you ever get beeked-off by all the stuff other people who live in your house leave around for you to deal with? Seems to me like it's always the mom that gets the raw deal. Well, Mike Rowe and I have a lot in common. We have both done more than our fair share of dirty jobs! Mike, however, goes out in pursuit of the dirtiest jobs that exist- at my house, they pursue me! Here's my list of most-hated Dirty Jobs Domesticus (Home Edition):

Returning cans and bottles to Meijers. STINK-O-RAMA! Always smells like puke in there. No matter what time you go, there's always a line and usually only one machine that's working!There's no way around the sticky, gooey hand mess and of course they never have any hand sanitizer and/or paper towels left. Your shoes make that terrible sticky sound for days afterwards. I am always traumatized by this experience.

 Bodily fluid accidents of any sort! Human or otherwise...no need for elaboration.
 Cat boxes. I have been considering one of those gadgets that helps you train your cat to use the toilet- but somehow that just seems wrong!

 The fridge. Why do people put a milk jug in there with like three drops of milk left ? There are items in there that are unrecognizable! Some are funny colors, others emit noxious odors, and then there's the stuff growing fuzz. The fruits look like they're freeze-dried and the vegetables are now a slimy oooze. Looking on the bright side, this could be considered a weight-loss mechanism. I think they call it aversion therapy.

Sink drains in Kitchen. Yeah, these are regular little compost heaps. Would you like one scoop or two? Sick!

The always delightful bathroom. There's the collective cellular goo that everyone contributes and the perennial hair ball covering the drain which is roughly equivalent to the size of a small cat. Lovely! Mr. Clean, where are you?

 Cleaning the garbage can. Dejavu: Men at Work! Time to do the nasty..How does all that stuff leak through the plastic liner and get into the bottom of the can anyway? It's a mystery. It's a conspiracy!

 Certain people's bedrooms-TREVOR! Things spill out into the hall even with the door shut!This room should be quarantined as a biohazard! Call the hazardous-materials team! Get on the acid suit and a Scott air-pack, I'm going in....This is the kind of stuff you see on TV! We need an intervention!

Cigarette mess. I don't even smoke! What? Why should I have to deal with this?? There are equal parts gravel and equal parts cigarette butts covering the driveway!If you get enough cigarette butts together, does that constitute a toxic waste site? Anyone got the number for Arlington? Maybe we could just load it all in dump trucks, haul it off, and start over. Sound reasonable to me!

 Gutting fish or cleaning any type of wild game. If you caught it or shot it, then you clean it! And please, stop informing me of what it ate last! Too Much Information! And don't expect me to dispose of any of the residue!

Did I miss anything? Is there anyone else out there who feels equally persecuted by domestic duties? Feel free to add your favorites to the list or just commiserate!