2007 arrived and with it the optimism of a new year and new beginning. I was also feeling that if I wanted things in my life to be different (meaning hopefully better!) I was going to have to take action. Do something different (after all, we do know the meaning of insanity) If it's to be, it's up to me! Embrace...NO! Pursue change! Change is our friend. Change is inevitable. Aw, what the heck! Go for it...So, one Sunday afternoon, in the grips of an all-consuming boredom, a like-minded friend and I persuaded one another to join eHarmony. My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, had also had a rotten year. We both ended long-term relationships in 2006. We told ourselves that there are still good guys out there. Furthermore, those guys would be damn lucky to snag us! So, we took the personality and compatibility tests that measured us on ALL 29 levels! We worked on our profiles until we had them just perfect! We hit a button, gave our credit card number, and we were off like a herd of turtles! The next day I logged onto my eHarmony account only to find, much to my horror, that about a dozen of my matches had already closed me! Not even 24 hours on this bloody thing and I'm already getting rejection-BUGGER! Come to find out, the majority of them closed the match because I hadn't posted a picture on my profile. Guys are visual (is that code for superficial and shallow?) so that was understandable. A few of them were freaked out by the fact that I'm a massage therapist (aka hooker is what I'm assuming they were thinking when they read that). I did get a few requests for communication, so I was happy to start there. Within a couple days, I was able to get a digital photo added to my profile. Almost immediately six more matches got closed. Well, I thought to myself, if those guys are that unaccepting and unwilling to get to know what a great person I am, I wouldn't want them anyway! They can just kiss my big, fat a...anyway, I let it go...Sooo, as time went by, I did get some interested matches. Slowly but surely I started "getting out there" and dating. Hmm, date #1-this guy said he was 5'6". Not an issue. I'm 5'2" myself and never have been partial to really tall guys so I'm ok with this. When I get to the restaurant, I find out this guy is shorter than me!I'm talking a good 2-3 inches. And I wore flats! Like he thinks I'm not going to notice? And, if he's lying about his height, what else has he not told the truth about? Date #2 used a photo that had to be at least 20 years old! Again, misrepresentation! Date #3 could never keep his word about when he was going to call, so I shouldn't have been surprised when he showed up an hour late with the lame excuse, "I'll be late for my own funeral...HaHaHa!" I'm not waiting around for that! Date #4 was a cheapskate. Date #5 wouldn't leave the waitress a tip-this tells me he's not a generous person in any other area of his life either. I am always thoughtful of those in a service industry since I work in one myself.GONG! Date #6 started talking about himself right after introductions and didn't stop for 3 1/2 hours when I had to excuse myself because of a splitting headache! He asked if he could see me again...not in this lifetime, Sparky!
So, I joined a couple singles groups through churches in the area. This turned out to be a better choice for me. I like doing things in a group and there isn't the pressure of a one-on-one date. I had some good experiences going out to dinner and movies and some other activities.So, I did the biggie-I went to a dance and actually had the moxie to ask a guy if he'd like to dance with me. To which he replied,"I think I'll wait..." Wait for what? A better offer? I reminded him that it wasn't a marriage proposal and quickly moved on...Don't these guys ever look in the mirror? Most of them aren't exactly super-model magnets! I felt like telling this guy, "You don't have any reason to feel like you can be that choosy!" I have decided that while I like the group activities better, it's still all rather weird after being married for almost 25 years!You have to have a thick skin to do this dating gig these days. I guess I'm just not that motivated!
I am not about to give up, but I realize that most of the time I'm pretty happy with my life just the way it is. Maybe that's why I'm being so picky. Apparently, I wasn't picky enough in the past! During a lot of these dates I actually wished I was at home in my jammies watching TV with my dogs and cats! I am blessed. I have my sons, my grandson, my two jobs, my fabulous church, plenty of loving family and friends and my hobbies and educational pursuits. This is a full life for anyone! Not that I wouldn't make time for the right person, because I would. It would take a very special person I'm realizing. I want what I want and I'm not willing to settle for less this time around. I'd rather be single the rest of my life than to get stuck with another guy that makes me miserable!
OK, here's the bottom line: Must be a Christian. Must be willing to treat me and my children/family with love, kindness and respect. Must love my dogs and cats as much as I do! Must be nice to my ex-husband, Lewis. Will consider ages 30-60(I'm not kidding!).Must be nice. Must be fun. Must be willing to try new things and go on adventures. If you're a hottie and/or know how to cook, that would be helpful! If you or anyone you know fits this description, please respond in the comments portion of this blog...So, in the meantime, no more Internet dating for this girl! It's real-life all the way!
1 comment:
I know you're probably hoping for a lead, but I don't have one. I just wanted to tell you to hang in there and enjoy the cats and dogs...and keep on looking. Dating CAN be fun (I think? This coming from someone who's been married for 13 years to the guy she dated for 3 years before that), but so can being single! Enjoy it while you look, and if you're ever disgusted enough by men to give it up for a while, I have a babysitting job for you that will be at least as much fun as the animals! :)
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