Last week I finished Hope for the Single Again-a 10-week divorce recovery workshop hosted by Central Wesleyan. The final lesson was on the subject of finding contentment in your new life as a single. I loved some of the quotes, scriptures and sayings that were used to illustrate the concept of contentment. For example, contentment was defined as a comfortable, satisfying inner peace. Satisfaction-being at ease in one's situation. Contentment-acceptance without anger. The elements of contentment that were identified were thankfulness, peace, acceptance, developing your relationship with God, and realizing that contentment is a choice. Socrates says of contentment, "Contentment is a natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty." Frank Koenig wrote, "We tend to forget that happiness does not come as the result of getting something we don't have but rather recognizing and appreciating what we do have." In developing a relationship, you develop trust. If you have trust, you feel safe. If you feel safe, you can be content. This has taken on new meaning for me as I have worked on drawing closer to God and having a deeper relationship with Him. I have also learned, on this journey, to have a better relationship with myself. I am learning to truly love, trust, accept and fogive myself. The quality of my relationship with God and with myself has made it possible to connect in a more meaningful way with my children, grandson, friends, and everyone that crosses my path these days. In some ways I have never been so poor-in the material sense-but inwardly so full and rich. It has been a remarkable process of discovery, self-expression, and self-realization that I have been experiencing the past nine months. This has been a reminder that even though some situations are not inherently good, God does turn things around for our ultimate good. God is always conspiring in our favor. No matter what it looks like at the moment! I have learned to take joy in so many simple things in my life that I barely noticed before. I am thankful each day for my health, for the roof over my head, that I am still working, that I have family and friends who love me, that I know God and that He is crazy about me, faults, warts and all! I am grateful that I have the opportunity to go to school and that I am learning many new things in a wide variety of areas in my life. I am becoming stronger and healthier physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am creating a new environment in my home that is uniquely me. I feel happy and content in my home as I make it my own. I have the fellowship of a wonderful church. I have a circle of love that includes my many dear pets. I have been challenging myself to accomplish some new goals. I feel alive and stimulated. It is great to be in this space. Not that I don't have my down days and moments and times when I still suffer pain from my past. But I recover quickly now and I don't stay stuck. Progress in encouraging! I have learned a valuable lesson: how to be alone and be comfortable and happy with myself. If there's something I don't like about my life or if something needs to change, I take responsibility myself and don't look to anyone else to solve my problems or make me happy. I am a separate, whole, healthy being-complete in and of myself. I belong. I am accepted. I am not saying that I would turn my back on love and partnership if it came my way~but it would be a choice made because the presence of the other person enriches my life experience and not out of any sort of neediness. This is a good place to live. This is an exciting path to walk. Life is good. Contentment.
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